First contact
Handshake established. Signal strong. Neither party suspected anything.
Version 25.0 · 25th wedding anniversary
Raji & Madhan
25 years, 5 cities, 2 kids, still us.celebrate with usFri, Nov 27, 2026 · 6:30 pm · Saratoga, CADownloading 25 years…0 / 9,131 days
Update installs in —
Uptime since v1.0: — · no reboots
Read everything, then install at the bottom. RSVP by Nov 20. This update cannot be skipped.
What’s new in 25.0
We’re happily married. Madhan is on notice for having too much fun. Come help Raji keep an eye on him.
- Arrivals. 6:30 pm. Hugs, catching up.
- Dinner. Catered. Madhan has cooked roughly 3,000 dinners since v16.0 (semi-retired). Tonight he’s off duty.
- Cake. One for the anniversary, candles for the birthdays.
- Cocktails. Raji’s department. Movie recommendations accepted at the bar.
- Later. Toasts, and stories from five cities.
- Bundled: Raji’s birthday (March, fashionably late) and Madhan’s (that very night). Please don’t ask either of them how old they are.
$ git diff v1.0..v25.0 --stat
+ 1 wife, 1 husband (unchanged, verified)
+ 5 cities: Bangalore, Austin, Boston, Pondicherry, Saratoga
+ Nivi (v3.0) · 23 · objections: many
+ Minu (v4.0) · 15 · volume: max
+ 1 Nvidia badge (Raji, hardware)
+ 1 startup (Madhan, in his spare time, which does not exist)
~ Madhan: semi-retired in v16.0 → household.service installed
+ 9,131 days of uptime
- sleep
- parents’ objections
- Madhan’s free time
~ ages (redacted)
~ Raji’s working hours (still too high)
~ Madhan’s fun levels (still too high)
12 files changed, 25 years inserted, 0 regrets deleted
Known issues
WON’T FIXMadhan is on notice for having too much fun.
CLASSIFIEDAges. (Raji’s and Madhan’s. The kids are 23 and 15 and will tell you unprompted.)
RESOLVED IN v1.0Parents. It took three years and several patches.
KNOWNThe Boston winter story may be told more than once.
OVERLOADEDRaji is working too hard. Nvidia has been notified. Nvidia sent more work.
LOAD IMBALANCERaji brings the money. Madhan brings the laundry. Both insist they got the better deal.
OBJECTIONNivi, 23, objects to this entire page. Overruled.
VOLATILEMinu, 15. Firecracker. Do not shake.
Activity monitor
Family edition. Live. None of these processes can be stopped, but you’re welcome to try.
| Process | CPU | Fun | Status | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| raji.exeRaji | WORKING TOO HARD | |||
| nvidia-hardware-buildRaji | SHIPPING | |||
| madhan.shMadhan | TOO MUCH FUN | |||
| household.serviceMadhan | COOK · CLEAN · DRIVE · LAUNDRY | |||
| startup.appMadhan | SPARE TIME: NONE FOUND | |||
| nivi.lawNivi, 23 | OBJECTING | |||
| minu.fireMinu, 15 | FIRECRACKER | |||
| movies+cocktails.appRaji & Madhan | SCHEDULED: FRIDAY |
Memory allocation (who does what)
Raji
Madhan
Raji → income, 100%. Madhan → household, 100%, plus startup, 100%. Total: 200%. The math has been reviewed by Nivi and found objectionable. Minu didn’t read it.
Compatibility check
Before installing, let’s make sure your system meets the requirements. Six questions. No wrong answers, mostly.
Takes about 20 seconds. Less if you’re decisive.
Screenshots
From the App Store listing nobody asked for.
screenshot_02.jpg
uploading… Raji is still choosing.
uploading… Raji is still choosing.
screenshot_03.jpg
Madhan says it’s “somewhere on a hard drive.”
Madhan says it’s “somewhere on a hard drive.”
Version history
- v0.0.1 · 1997
- v0.1 · 1998
Bangalore: living together
Shared storage enabled. One cup, two toothbrushes. Where it all began.
- v0.1.1 · 1998–2001
Day job installed
Work hard. Ship things. Drink the coffee. Repeat.
- v0.1.2 · 1998–2001
Friends, parties, drinks
Weekends ran at full volume. Cheers support added. Hangover patch still in beta.
- v0.2 · 1999–2000
Boston ↔ Austin
Long-distance mode. Survived the Boston winters. Added support for “y’all” and brisket. Phone bill: critical. Still talking.
- Critical error: parents are angry.Unauthorized cohabitation detected (1998). Long-distance phone bills detected (1999–2000). Grandchildren not detected.
- v1.0 · 2001
Pondicherry: married
Parents finally calm. Marriage approved. Phew. First stable release.
- v2.0 · 2002
Saratoga
Long-term support. Current port of call.
- v2.1 · 2002
New job, new friends
Fresh start in Saratoga. Friend list expanded. Several of them are reading this.
- v3.0 · Nivi
New user: Nivi
Read the terms and conditions. Objected to all of them. Now 23 and preparing to object professionally. Sleep deprecated.
- v4.0 · Minu
New user: Minu
Firecracker detected on install. Now 15. The volume knob never shipped. Fun multiplied anyway.
- v16.0 · semi-retired
household.service installed
Madhan semi-retires. Cooking, cleaning, driving and laundry move to his process. Roughly 3,000 dinners shipped since. Raji keeps shipping hardware. Fun levels: climbing.
- v17.0 → v24.9
More fun, more love
Raji ships hardware at Nvidia. Madhan ships dinner, laundry, school runs and a startup. Friday nights: movies and cocktails. Running continuously since 2002. No reboots.
- v25.0 · 2026
You’re invited.
Requires the whole family. Bring everyone. Cake included.
System requirements
| Minimum | You. All of you. |
| Recommended | The whole family. Kids, grandparents, everyone who fits in the car. |
| Gifts | Not supported. Your presence is the present. |
| Parking | Street. It’s a cul-de-sac, so please park on the street. |
| Appetite | Required. Dinner is catered. |
| Battery | Will drain. Stories from five cities. |
Install update
You’ve read the release notes. You’ve seen the known issues. You know about Minu. There’s no turning back.
RSVP by Nov 20. This update cannot be skipped. By clicking Install you agree to hear the Boston winter story at least once.